Thoughts

So you would think by now, after all these years I would be used to Steve being gone for a whole week for Scout camp, but still I am not.  So here I sit, way late at night because I have a hard time falling asleep without him, thinking about how I take things for granted.

...they always say it is the little things in life that count, and I think I have overlooked too many little things because I am so busy with trying to make sure the house is clean(I know it usually isn't, but I sure try to keep it that way), making sure we are on time to places, making sure that we try to stay organized with our schedules...but sometime I become so obsessed with those things, that I forget to take time out to just stop and stare and watch my kids. 

I really do have some funny kids, who do amazing things, and overall behave very well, and who love each other lots.  And as I get older, and I start finding grey hairs on my head(I know time to start coloring my hair) I realize that I am far from being a perfect parent or spouse...but I hope that when my kids look back and think about their childhood they don't think that their mom was obsessed with a clean house and getting places on time, but that they think of the times we spend reading together, playing Lego's together, doing hair together, painting toenails(only for the girls), playing basketball, talking, having Family Home Evening, wrestling, doing article of faith challenge, but most of all that they remember that I loved them and I would do anything for them, and that I have a testimony that I know that my Savior lives and that He loves me.  That I am a daughter of God, who is surrounded by so many people who care and love my family.  That I know that because a young fourteen year old boy decided to go to the woods to pray, that I can be a member of something so wonderful and have the fullness of the gospel in my life.  I am so grateful to a loving husband who holds the priesthood and uses it worthily.  I am so grateful to belong to a church where I can serve so many people in so many different organizations and yet I still grow spiritually and physically and know that I am loved and that my family is blessed because of my husbands and my sacrifices to serve our Heavenly Father.  I am grateful for the knowledge of eternal families, and that I will always be with my family in the eternity to continue to serve together.  And I am most grateful to an eternal Heavenly Father who loves me and who is always there for me no matter what and who has had many miracles occur in my life to make me a stronger person.  I may miss my Stevie at Scout Camp, and I may have missed some of those precious moments with my kids because I was obsessed with cleaning, but today is the day that I will take life and make the most of it.  I am grateful to be blessed with 5 wonderful children who are amazing examples and heroes in my eyes, and who strive to be more like their daddy everyday.  And I am grateful to a loving husband who is the biggest hero in my life, and how he takes time out at Scout camp to make sure I am OK and that the kids are OK, because he know just hearing his voice brings me peace and comfort.  I know my Savior has gone through everything I am feeling or have ever felt or will feel, and the knowledge that I am not alone.  And most of all I am grateful to be living at this time, at this place, so that I could experience all of this and become closer to all my friends and mostly closer to a loving Heavenly Father. In the name of Jesus Christ AMEN.